literature

Humor in Religion 1

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shyguy280's avatar
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Literature Text

How would you answer these 5 Religious questions?


1. How does God hear every prayer every day?
A. He must have the biggest ears in the universe!
B. He has the best fax machine ever invented: it keeps track of prayers for Him.
C. The world may never know.
D. Who cares how He does it, what matters is that He can and He does!
E. Every person's guardian angel tells him personally every day.

2. Where's Heaven?
       A. It's high in the sky and the clouds.
       B. On the other side of the universe.
       C. Good grief Charlie Brown! Why do you need to know the answer to this?
       D. Imagine the best place ever created…that's where it is.
       E. I HAVE NO ANSWER!!!!!!

3. How often should you read scriptures (no matter what religion you are in)?
A. NEVER! I'm always a rebel!
B. Every day
C. Only when I need to.
D. When the world is ending, that's when I'll start caring.
E. Whenever I have time.

4. Is going to church really necessary if you feel like you know everything?
A. Yes, there's always something I need to know because my needs are always changing. Church can always help me feel better.
B. HECK NO! Who needs a church when I clearly know everything I'll ever need to know?
C. Oh no, was church today!?! I need to hurry and get ready!
D. Sigh…I suppose so…but church is soooo boring. Sigh…
E. I live for church! I must have it! It means everything to me!!!!

5. Why should we keep the commandments we are taught?
A. Because I get punished by my parents and friends if I don't.
B. Ummm…I don't know.
C. Because that's the right thing to do. If God commands us, we should obey without question. He knows what's best for us, even though we don't always see it that way.
D. What are commandments? I do whatever I want, whenever I want. No one's the boss of me!
E. I…I keep some of the commandments…but only the ones that I wanna keep.
Not everything I do is cartoon related...but I couldn't stop myself from doing this! It's amazing how so many questions that are so simple for some people can have so many different answers. Seriously though, sometimes I'm shocked at how different people can be.

Anyway, enjoy this simple line of questions! I know what I'd choose, but what will other reader's pick?
© 2011 - 2024 shyguy280
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chip-munk's avatar
Haha, for the first one, I was wondering that, too! As a joke, of course.
They play all those booming organs in churches; how can he hear over them? :XD: